So, he is taking his own sweet time "moving out." Tuesday he said he was leaving. He spent forever getting a few clothes together.

I asked him to tell the kids before they went to bed. He wanted to just leave and let me explain in the morning. We set all of the kids down and he told them he wasn't going to live with us anymore. It was pretty horrible. Brigham couldn't stop crying for a couple of hours. I felt like I had to pick up the pieces... I went around and tucked them into bed, said prayers with all of them, let them talk if they wanted or just hold them for a while. It was pretty ugly.

Turns out he spent the next three hours working on his car because the trunk wouldn't open. We decided he could sleep here and I left him a pillow and a blanket on the couch. I tried to go to sleep around 11:30 p.m. but I just tossed and turned for hours. I just kept reliving all that I had seen and all that he had said to me. It just repeated and repeated in my head. I didn't fall asleep until almost 3 a.m.

We woke up and the kids were so excited that he was still here. Just more confusing for them I think. He took kids to school and said he would see us after work. I thought he was coming back for more stuff.

He breezed in after work, opened the garage, walked right in like nothing was different. He told B he was going to take him to scouts. So, after washing his car he took him to the Spanish Branch for scouts. I can just imagine him talking and laughing with our old friends while I am at home doing homework, cleaning, working and getting everything ready for tomorrow.

Later he came back in, talked to the kids for awhile, ate some food and left. He said his trunk was full and he couldn't take anymore with him. He still has most of his clothes hanging in the closet. All of his drawers are full.

This morning I woke up early to clean the yard a little and get the trash out for trash day before I had to take the kids to school. I got them all ready, fed, clean.... everyone to the van and off to school. We came back home and about 10 minutes later I hear the garage open. In he walks and says he can take them to school, a little too late buddy.

I feel so angry because this is just what he has always wanted. He can come and go without explanation. He doesn't have to do one thing around the house. He doesn't have to help get the kids ready for bed or ready for school. He doesn't have to take care of laundry or pick up one toy. He doesn't have to take the trash out or take care of the rabbits. He can sweep in and talk to the kids if he'd like but no worries about finishing homework or making sure they bathe. Free and easy.

I have really tried not to say mean things, though occasionally something slips out. This morning I said that if he was going to leave us, he needed to do it. Not just half way. He comes back with, "I thought I could visit the kids. I didn't think you were going to be all crazy about it." I said I thought he shouldn't just open the garage and walk on in, that he should start knocking on the door. He said, "Oh, you want me to give you a call ahead of time, too?" sarcastically.

We also have an Elder's Quorum activity in the backyard tonight. He mentioned that he thought he would come by to eat. Grrrreeaaaat.

Part of me want him to know that he is welcome to come back home if he will change and live close to the Lord. The other part of me feels like he is taking advantage of the situation and I would like to make it hard on him. Who knows.

Last but not least, I finally called the Bishop. Poor guy was speechless. I just told him a tiny bit of what was going on. He was taken completely by surprise. He said, "Now, I didn't know anything about this." I told him that we kind of just kept our problems to ourselves. Bishop had asked me to be Primary President on Sunday, he was going to announce it this Sunday. I asked him if he could just think about it and wrap his head around what was going on, then give me a call later. He just stammered and stuttered, "Sure, sure."

I'd better get to work. Sure has been a hard week to get any work done.