Church

So, church was pretty somehow today. It was hard getting out the door, as usual, but I thought I 'd better be there for the announcement of the callings at least. It is so difficult not to lose my temper when I have all of the girls ready, buttoned, teeth brushed, hair done and headed out to the van... and I open B's door to find him sitting and organizing his Pokemon cards. He still had to brush teeth, comb hair and get shoes and socks on. I must admit I raised my voice a little.

I know B is in such a difficult place. For about the last six months he has been talking back so much and fighting everything we ask him to do. He also always says things like, "Maybe you should just throw me out with the trash." So, I know he is hurting....

Anywho, at church the opening hymn was "Have I Done Any Good in the World Today?" and it just annoyed me. Bad sign. Then they released us and I had to stand. I found that I was about to lose it so I had to stare at a spot on the wall above everyone's head. I knew that in moments they were going to announce that I was being put in as the Primary President and I didn't know if my legs would hold me up. I stood and made zero eye contact and was so grateful I was in the front of the room so only a few rows could turn to look at me.

After sitting down I had a little break down. Cried a little, then pulled myself together. Then, just as an extra special test made just for me, Science Hater (a guy in my ward) got up to speak. He talked about making it to the Celestial Kingdom as a couple. That if you made it there alone you would be a ministering angel. That was his topic. He went on and on about how you cannot be exalted alone. Thanks. Just what I needed.

I was gearing myself up for the end of sacrament meeting. I thought I was ready but the girl right behind me was really nice and said she knew I would do such a great job in my calling. She said the Spirit had been really strong during that part of the meeting. Huh, guess I missed that with the trying not to make eye contact and all. But her kind words brought on another break down. I knew I couldn't talk to anyone! So I went to Bonnie and sobbed out a request... if she could help get my kids to Primary. I went out the closest door and found myself in the Stake Offices. It turned out to be the perfect hiding place. :)

Of course L wouldn't go without me and had to be brought to me in tears. There was a mystery voice that called out "Julie" as I was running away, so whoever the owner of that voice is has been offended today. Bummer.

By the time RS came around I had it together again and was able to go in and sit up front smiling and nodding.

Only one of my new counselors was there today. The other two don't even know yet. So, good times ahead. Wish me luck.