A friend's daughter died from complications from childbirth this week. It was a lady I taught with in Brigham, she was always so wrapped up with her kids, their lives very intertwined. At the time I couldn't believe that she was so involved with her children's lives, having recently been dropped off in Brigham and finding myself walking to work and to the grocery store. I had a car quickly after the first snow storm. Thank you Janett and Alma, I am still grateful for that loan!
Yesterday I found myself aching for closer ties with my family. The funeral was so beautiful. Her parents talked and her sisters spoke. They took turns talking about qualities they loved about Candace, sharing funny stories and making promises to Candace, now that she can't take care of her kids and her husband. They will step in as a family and wrap them in love. The thing is that they really will. They get together a couple times a month as a family... we fight about getting together once a year. It has really left me a little melancholy. That coupled with the price of gas, cutting traveling plans to shreds, has me in a very somber place.
Candace's mother, my friend Susan, said, "If I could have bottled up your giggles and the little hand prints you left on the windows and walls, I would take them out now and scatter them around the house." It really hit home to me how much we need to appreciate each day. I am determined to focus more on the happy moments than the crazy, vexing moments. My kids do really cute and funny things... but often all I can remember at the end of the day is the messes they made or when they didn't obey. From this day forward, I will document something positive they have done everyday. Sometimes on the blog, sometimes in their journals and other times, more importantly, talking to E and telling the kids personally. Asi sera. So let it be written, so let it be done.
Right now R is moving the rocking chair back and forth while L is hanging half way off. Fun is had by all.
Have I mentioned that S can spell her name. You may be thinking, "Who couldn't spell their name if it was 'S'?" But I was very proud and a little teary eyed when she surprised me by spelling out her name.
One last note on death. A lady in our ward went in to wake her husband up yesterday... and found him dead. Very sad. The funeral is on Monday and as RS we are in charge of the luncheon. Wish us luck!
May none of my loved ones die today.
With love,
Julie
2 comments:
ya, never can be too much family time, i say! and i have to say, that whole funeral thing is not my favorite thing. having gone through what we have gone through in our family, it blows my mind when i talk to someone that has never been to a funeral or had a loved one die that they were close to. we were talking about that last week with one of my home teaching families, and the wife had just gone to her first funeral a couple of weeks before, and i was pretty much flabbergasted! heck, i was a seasoned vet with a half-dozen under my belt before i even finished high school! not to mention all that has happened since then. anyway, that is my random thought for the day :).
I had to read your blog last night and think about it all day before I could comment. I have been thinking about death lately, too. With Larry as old as he is it is always on my mind. Then Dad came over and I talked wills and death with him. I think we need to enjoy what we have- as far as family ties- and not mourn for what we don't. I wish we were able to get together more but we are one of the worst for going anywhere. Especially now we have more animals. It all revolves around the choices you make and how you want to live life. I am more than passing familiar with death. When the time comes and someone else dies, I don't want to focus on what we did not do together but things we did do. Enough of that already. I hope no one I love dies this year.
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