Death

A friend's daughter died from complications from childbirth this week. It was a lady I taught with in Brigham, she was always so wrapped up with her kids, their lives very intertwined. At the time I couldn't believe that she was so involved with her children's lives, having recently been dropped off in Brigham and finding myself walking to work and to the grocery store. I had a car quickly after the first snow storm. Thank you Janett and Alma, I am still grateful for that loan!

Yesterday I found myself aching for closer ties with my family. The funeral was so beautiful. Her parents talked and her sisters spoke. They took turns talking about qualities they loved about Candace, sharing funny stories and making promises to Candace, now that she can't take care of her kids and her husband. They will step in as a family and wrap them in love. The thing is that they really will. They get together a couple times a month as a family... we fight about getting together once a year. It has really left me a little melancholy. That coupled with the price of gas, cutting traveling plans to shreds, has me in a very somber place.

Candace's mother, my friend Susan, said, "If I could have bottled up your giggles and the little hand prints you left on the windows and walls, I would take them out now and scatter them around the house." It really hit home to me how much we need to appreciate each day. I am determined to focus more on the happy moments than the crazy, vexing moments. My kids do really cute and funny things... but often all I can remember at the end of the day is the messes they made or when they didn't obey. From this day forward, I will document something positive they have done everyday. Sometimes on the blog, sometimes in their journals and other times, more importantly, talking to E and telling the kids personally. Asi sera. So let it be written, so let it be done.

Right now R is moving the rocking chair back and forth while L is hanging half way off. Fun is had by all.

Have I mentioned that S can spell her name. You may be thinking, "Who couldn't spell their name if it was 'S'?" But I was very proud and a little teary eyed when she surprised me by spelling out her name.

One last note on death. A lady in our ward went in to wake her husband up yesterday... and found him dead. Very sad. The funeral is on Monday and as RS we are in charge of the luncheon. Wish us luck!

May none of my loved ones die today.

With love,

Julie

R's Surgery

R had to had some dental work done and so they put her out completely at the surgical center. It was horrible. The anesthesiologist was a very quiet thin man that hunched forward to talk and to listen. He was very soft spoken and kind. After he had explained everything then we "laid" R down on the table. She was fighting and scared, trying to cling on to me. Then they started giving her laughing gas and she wouldn't calm down. All of a sudden she went limp and they sighed like it was a relief and we were done. Then she started curling her arms and legs in weird ways... and it was freaking me out. The anesthesiologist just started pumping the gas more quickly and I was sure she was going to die or have brain damage. The other guy said, "She is still really fighting this." That is when I felt the splatters of my tears bouncing off the table. It was horrid.

She finally stopped contorting herself, and then I had to leave her. I tried to hold back the sobbing as the dentist told me he would hurry so I don't have to worry about her too long. Then I stumbled into the bathroom and had myself a good cry. When I was calm enough, I tried to call E to give him an update... but I found that I really didn't have it together yet.

Eventually they called for me about on hour later and R was just waking up.... mad as could be. I tried to hold her but she was a little psychotic about the IV. She kept yanking on the tube anytime her hands escaped. Trauma. The nurse did come back soon and took out the IV. Then R moved on to the name bands she had on her ankles. She was screaming and kicking, "Off! Off!" I tried to distract her by singing, showing her things, "Look at that curtain," didn't go over so well. Funny, but the thing that did the trick was explaining that as soon as I had some scissors I would cut them off. She calmed right down.

She was pretty clingy for the next couple of hours, but really she did great. This all happened last Wednesday. I had a hard time talking about it, so I couldn't blog it until now. I still cried remembering. It was the weird muscle movements that threw me over the edge. The only thing that is freaking me out now is the follow up calls to see if she is doing OK. The Surgical Center called twice and her dentist just called this morning. Is that normal?

Any who, everybody go brush your teeth right now. I will go brush R's teeth now as well.

Poor E

My poor dear husband. He is a blessing in so many lives, but does he have a life of his own? I think I will share his day with you.

He woke up and went directly to the gym. He doesn't love the gym, only signed up so I could get the huge discount. His membership is free if he goes eight times a month. Yes, yes, it sounds like a blessing... but he really hates being the skinniest thing in the gym. Just as much as I hate being the fattest thing in the gym. Any who, he went to the gym.

Then he took care of the monsters while I went to the gym, which I have grown to love. He also spent some time online studying the make-up of a Ford Focus. There is a guy from Spanish Branch that had E look at his car. He has worked on it every weekend for the last couple of months. E will find something wrong, fix it... and then Milla will call saying that the engine light turned on AGAIN! So, Milla called a couple of times today and E spent about an hour on that car. He's going to have to take it to work and hook it up to the mega-diagnostic computer.

I also went out to lunch with a bunch of Relief Society sisters. It is called the "lunch bunch" and once a month they meet at different restaurants just for fun. Since I'm in charge of activities now I thought I'd better go at least once. So, E fed the kids lunch while I was out spending money on food for me. At least I brought him half of my dinner, right?

When I got home I wanted to go to the Dinosaur Park with all the monsters. E went with us and fun was had by all. On our way home we stopped at Smith's to buy milk. E stayed in the car while I "ran" in... but who knew they were having such a great sale! You had to buy discounted products in tens to get five dollars back... so I found four sets of ten. Took me awhile... oops. E was just as patient as could be sitting in the car.

Right before we left for the Dinosaur Park a family had come over with a car they had just purchased in the auction. As they were driving home the "Trac Off" light had come on, it over heated... and the tires stopped turning, in other words it wouldn't drive. They left it at our house and E went to check it out when we got home. It turns out that it was low on antifreeze so it over heated and the car just turned itself off. It also has some misfiring with cylinder 2 but they can still drive it. I looked out the window about 15 minutes after we had arrived home and the owner of the car was here with his son. Under pressure.

I had also complained about him not fixing our stuff. So today he fixed our computer table and the van window that wouldn't roll down. The computer table required some searching for hardware and serious screwdriver work. He had to take the van door completely apart and blah, blah, blah.

While E was fixing the van door, a little old man brought his car by. You can't say no to a little old man who had cancer but didn't die. So, off they went to buy parts and fix something, I didn't even bother to ask.

E went back to the van door but I rudely called him away to help me with the monsters and dinner. R was having a breakdown and I was getting close to one myself. He came in and took over for a few minutes and all was well. Then back to the van which now has a window that can roll down.

Later, I was calling for the visiting teaching report and a lady asked if her husband could talk to E... to ask him when he could work on his car. Poor E.

One little tidbit I forgot. His brother called to talk about NASCAR while we were driving to the Dinosaur Park. When we got there and were trying to get the kids out I snapped at him a little asking why he didn't hang up. Not very nice, eh? But maybe if you knew that the same brother called two or three times yesterday, (the last one being at 10:30 p.m.) to talk NASCAR ... maybe you could understand a little of my annoyance.

So, E is now watching NASCAR. He can maybe relax and not think for a minute. He is a good man. Service is his middle name. No, he didn't get paid for anything he did today... they were all just "could you look at my car" stops. Oh well. NASCAR will be his balm.

Ana's Visit

Ana came and stayed at my house for almost four days! I was in heaven. She was so good and patient with our crazy comings and goings. I'm glad that I got to see her pregnant and so happy to be pregnant. She seems to be doing really well. I miss her more than I would miss chocolate, if I ever stopped eating chocolate. One thing I have learned is that kindred spirits are sometimes hard to find, so we should hang on to them as much as we can.



The Spanish Branch planned a surprise baby shower for Ana while she was here. It was very fun. Much laughter, loud talking, games, story telling, eating. At one point the husband of our friend Jessica walked in and Hna. Ninataype said, "Ya llego el bailarin." Which means, "The dancer has arrived." I laughed a little then looked at the husband and thought about it a little... then I couldn't stop laughing.

Those ladies really are fun to be around. It was also funny to watch Hna. Milla forcing the Branch President to speak and the Relief Society President to speak. A tender moment was when Ana was thanking everyone and said that if she was a good parent, it would be because of the examples she had seen. Then Hna. Milla told Ana that the party, the gifts, the love... Ana was only harvesting what she had sown. It was truly a love fest!

It did make me think about how I treat others. Just being a little pleasant instead of stand-offish can make such a big difference. I want to be kind to everyone, for that is right you see. So, I say to myself, remember this... kindness begins with me. Deep isn't it. I just made that up right now!

Thank you Ana!