Wednesday, December 12, 2012

You know, so much of my blog I consider documentation.  Sad, I remember when I used to blog to stay in touch with my family.  But, that was before facebook. ;)

So, tonight was S's program at the school.  She is such a cutie, she sang and danced with a smile on her face.  E showed up late with Lora (who doesn't have a facebook, as far as I can see... weird.... because then she could see all of the skanky girls that E is friends with), they were late and missed S's performance.  Wednesday night is his night to take the kids so we had a lot of prep to do before we left the house.  Homework done for tomorrow and for the week since we are going to Orderville on Friday.  Teacher gifts done, the girls made scarves for their teachers... I had to help finish them and get them wrapped and into backpacks.  Make sure they have school shoes on for tomorrow etc. etc. etc.  B also wanted to take their Papa's gift.  I bought him a couple of really nice blankets because the kids say they are always cold at his house.  So I thought it would be a good thing for the kids to give him for Christmas.

We all walked out together and the kids went to the car to get their stuff.  So I asked E and Lora if they were planning on getting married in the temple.  Lora answered in her super sweet voice, "That is none of your business, but yes, yes we are."  It confused me because I had always thought she was nice with that crazy high sweet voice... but I guess not.  I mentioned again that I was sure I was supposed to receive a letter for E to be able to be sealed to someone else.  Lora then clapped her hand and said, "Yay!  A temple divorce, so then we can get rid of you!" in that same sweet voice.  It was weird.

By now the kids had walked up and I didn't want them to think we were arguing so I stepped in closer to speak softly to them when Lora started screaming at me, "Get back!  Get back!  You have to stay at least two feet away from me!!  Get back, get back, get back!!"  I was so confused I stood there staring at her.  What on earth was this?  She then proceeded to tell me how awful I was, manipulative and .... I can't even remember what else.  It was surreal.

S was crying and hanging onto my leg, L was in the van crying... it was awful.  I tried to tell them that everything was fine and kiss them.  We started talking about tomorrow after school and I heard E saying, "See, see how she is."  I have no idea what he was talking about.

I leaned up and whispered to Lora that I had tried to speak softly as to not upset the kids.  That I knew just how she felt because E had threatened to choke me and to punch me before.  I didn't want to get in her space, I just wanted to speak softly as to not concern the kids because I have worked really hard to protect them through all of this.

E must really be telling her some whoppers, because she was acting nutso when I tried to speak to her.  I had always assumed that she was kind and sweet, bummer that it was just an act.

At the end I just said that we will be following the divorce decree from now on and just do Wednesday nights.  Then I walked to my van.  As I started up the van E drove up and boxed me in so I couldn't back out.  He came up to the window and said, "We really shouldn't talk about things like that in front of the kids."  I looked back in shock as he has yelled, sworn, threatened me many a time in front of the kids.  It was like he was a character in a play.  I just said back that I was the one who had told him that many times.  He had already delivered his line and he just walked away.

I am so tired of this!  I can't ever even speak to him without a big fight.  Their wedding plans are just creeping me out a little because I can't wrap my head around him being worthy to enter the temple.  Also, last week they took the girls out to buy "bridesmaid" dresses.  The girls said they were white.  (Weird?)  And then S told me that Lora thought B should get a white tie and a white shirt...  Then the kids were talking about how excited they were to go to the temple.  (Red flag!)  I explained to them that they were too young to go in the temple still and my girls were then confused, because they were sure that they would be in the wedding with E and Lora.

I hope to shout that E and Lora won't try and take my kids and get sealed to them.  Please tell me the church couldn't be that disorganized or gullible.  E has become quite the liar, however, who knows what he is telling his Bishop!

I am just so tired of this.  Can't we be done now?  I just want to raise my kids in peace.  They have such a hard time with this emotional roller coaster.  A weekend in Orderville will be heaven sent. :)

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