So, I had an appointment with the Bishop for a Sunday afternoon at 2:15. I took all of the kids with me and they all had a quiet activity to keep them busy. Of course I was late, so I was a little relieved to see that he was still in with the people who had an appointment before me. We sat and waited with the executive secretary who was watching the little boy of the couple who were in with the Bishop. We hung out, waiting ... after about 30 minutes I asked when the next appointment was coming. There were only about 15 minutes until the next appointment came. I decided that if they showed up, we would just leave. I didn't want them to have to sit out waiting forever for me to finish. My kids were starting to get a little crazy any way.
So, low and behold, the next appointment showed up. I told the ex sec to make sure and tell the Bishop I was mad, and I left. I tell you, I am crazy feisty lately. Not a good thing. It is embarrassing.
Anywho, I saw the Bishop later in the week at pack meeting. He apologized and I could tell he was a little afraid of the crazy woman. We set another appointment for Thursday.
Before my appointment Thursday I had a huge blow up with E. He was trying to give me a little lecture and I, of course, let him know that I did not have to listen to his lectures any more. He got more and more angry as I refused to learn from him and ended up saying a bunch of mean things like, "Who would want to live with a woman like you?" So, big fat loud fight, in front of the kids, which I hate right before I go to the Bishop's office and E went off to soccer practice with all of the kids.
When I walked in with the Bishop I was just so angry at him, at E, at life... he asked me how I was and I burst into uncontrollable tears. I was making weird crying faces and I had to turn my head away while I was getting it under control. Finally I stopped crying and asked if we could talk about Primary first so I could pull it together, it worked.
When we started talking about E the Bishop had a million questions. He is still in shock and just can't believe it all happened. We went on and on about the last few years and the last couple of months. It was nice to just be able to put everything on the table. I haven't told anyone else all of the things that E has done, so it was quite refreshing to just lay it out there.
After all of that he asked what he could do for me. That is when I slipped in my question about counseling and here is what he said, "Counseling is usually for bigger problems. Like E, he needs counseling, but you, you have it all together." Oh, bother. Then he admitted that he didn't really know what was available and I asked if he would please check into it for me.
So, now that we have all judged my crazy Bishop so harshly (I did, believe you me) I found out that his father died the following morning. He had broken his leg a couple of months ago and has just been going down hill fast since then. So, all this time I was wanting the Bishop to pay attention to me, he had been sitting by his father's deathbed watching him slip away.
How sad is that? I went to the funeral today. There weren't more than 30 people there I bet. Bishop has a brother but it looks like neither of them have children and there wasn't any other family besides his mom. Bishop had asked the RS president to help him find enough pall bearers. Sad.
Every time I get all wrapped up in my woes and sorrows, I remember my great family and friends. I have been really blessed and surrounded by good people. And I do "have it all together" in so much that I can turn to the Lord in prayer and feel the comfort that comes from the Spirit. So, I will be alright. ...but I still think I want counseling. ;)
